Saint Mary's University of Minnesota Athletics

While I tend to think that my years of listening to the Grateful Dead were not quite as productive as I wish they would have been, it has occurred to me recently that they have provided me with some valuable insight.  More specifically the phrase, “What a long strange trip it’s been…” in “Truckin” seems to truly resonate with me and my days as a ballplayer here at Saint Mary’s.  Let me give you a little run down of what I am talking about — I am an English major, so you might want to grab a warm blanket and cup of cocoa because this is going to get a little lengthy. 

Freshman year: I arrive a shave-headed, earring wearing (no offense Brady, they look good on you) transfer with a plethora of “other” agendas.  As if this isn’t a good enough first impression, on our spring trip to Florida, a group of individuals (including myself, the Popek’s, and Juice) fail to hear Coach Whaley’s message about dinner time departure on Day 1 — he was speaking in his inside voice — and we are left behind as the team goes out for what I heard was a terrible buffet dinner.  Coach Whaley’s exact words in seeing us run towards the bus: “Leave em’.” As I sit with a wet towel on my head devouring seeds on the last day, I am summoned to “swing a bat;” Benji made swinging motions with his hands in a frantic miming style that could not be misunderstood.  I have no idea how, but I am able to get a hit, and am given an opportunity that I will never forget. 

Sophmore year:  I believe one instance can provide an explanation for the entire year.  As I sit on the bench in Memphis, I am told to get my glove and go in as, ironically, a defensive sub.  To this day, I am not sure where my glove went, but I had lost my leather.  A frozen rope sails over the head of the trusty development squad coach Nicholas Kuhn and I am given a look by the coaching staff that would shame any living, breathing human being.  Later that evening, I took a bath in the Super 8 motel and even asked the lady at the front desk for bubbles, needless to say they didn’t have any.

Junior Year: I travel to Australia with Matt Popek.  For some reason, Coach Whaley didn’t seem particularly sad about the semester that he referred to as “pretty quiet.”  Australia was a trip that made me realize a lot.  I found that sleep can actually be a good thing, the world is beautiful, and that I missed baseball.  I came back reinvigorated.  What our team lacked in talent that year we made up for with heart. 

Senior Year: Kevin’s morning workouts reminded me of my military high-school.  We have had a strange year, but I feel that this team has just been on the brink of being really, really good.  I wanted to make the playoffs and realize this will not happen, but ultimately I feel that I am a better person for continuing to work hard and never give up.

So there it is.  I would not have been able to be here without the help of a lot of people.  I will try to briefly say my thanks to all those who have been there for me.  

My family is simply one of a kind.  I love you all so much.

Mom: Your tough love and directness have always kept me in line and for that I love you so much.  I know that you care more than anyone and could not ask for a more supportive parent.  Dad: You can always make me smile and in very few words can cheer me up.  You are the kindest man I have ever met and believe that if I turn out anything like you than I have succeeded in this life.  Mikey: You are a great younger brother.  You were more independent at 16 than I am now.  Pat: You are going to be a great athlete.  Your hard work and loyalty will pay off.  Joe: You are a little version of me, man.  Sometimes you are a little edgy for 8th grade, but hey, that’s what we all love about you.  Maggie May: You are a sweetheart and a smart girl, I think that you are going to do great things.  

This is probably a fineable offense in kangaroo court, but I am willing to do it anyway.  Katelyn: You have been there for me since the day I met you and am so glad that I have someone like you in my life.  It is hard to have a bad day when I have someone like you in my corner.  You may be the worst singer I know, but I still love you. 

I have some of the best friends in the world. 

Matty Popek: Matty, you have taught me not to be condescending to drive-thru people, why the U.S. is doomed due to the rise of countries like India and China, and finally why I should not stress about anything.  At one point you had no books for any of your classes but still had better grades than Winhawk, Brady, and Coz combined.  You amaze me man.  In Australia we had no money, but one blender and a noodle maker filled with mold.  Remarkable.  Do you remember dressing up as Steve Irwin weeks after his death? Gutsy.  Also, you taking a bus to the other side of the country and returning 18 hours later.  Again, gutsy.  What I do know though is that everyone who meets you leaves a better person.  Thanks for the memories.

B-Man: At one point this year you actually looked at me and remarked, “Ain’t no one like me ever been through this program, man.”  For better or worse, I think you are right.  I remember fleeing the scene of pulled fire alarms, arguing about what you respect — admit that you frequently say, “I don like dude but I respec him.”  You are one of a kind.  I remember you running around a tree after our friend Matty flipped one of Winona’s finest over his shoulder.  I stood in the corner wondering if it was all a dream.  You taught me about loyalty and playing with confidence and for that I owe you.  Also, I believe we should keep in touch seeing that I am planning on pursuing a career in law.

Miz: Who would have thought that our growing concern/disgust for Coach Winecke’s kindergarten bathroom etiquette would unite us as friends.  I have enjoyed our talks about music, ball, and life.  You are one of the smartest guys I know even if you are a nerdy math guy.  I still sometimes feel that you have an evil master plan, or could commit some sort of crime, but that’s what I like about you. 

Kev: You are an outstanding guy to play with.  Your hard work is outstanding and frankly I think someone should give you an award saying how … I had to give you heat one more time.  Kev, you are one of the hardest workers I know and you will be successful no matter what you do.  While you constantly tell me I am worthless because you have to get the ball for us to throw as partners, that’s okay, I know you mean it sincerely.  Work hard, but keep dancing on your kitchen table and ripping down public signs, I like that Blacky too.

Big John: Although we didn’t get to hang out too much, I believe that you are one of the most laid-back guys I have ever met.  Your dedication to the team was unwavering and I loved hanging out with you.  I’m sorry but I have to admit that I find myself staring at that upper ear earring of yours.  Something about it is like sci-fi movies, I just don’t get it. 

Toshi: You truly are one of the strangest Asian folk out there.  I think you can make me laugh harder than anybody.  Whether it be your, “Thanks for nothinnn,” “I panic” or one of your dynamite Coach Whaley impressions, I love them all.  Your ability to play Tetris under pressure is one of the things I most admire about you.  Seeing that your country created the game, however, is one thing that I do take into consideration as you put up larger-than-life numbers on the Nintendo.  I still want you to draw me wearing nothing but a leaf around my privates, an SMU hat, and a smile.  Maybe some other time.  Seriously though, keep up the good work with your art. 

To some of the younger guys: Rob: Upside down Oakleys, taped wrists, and Nike uniforms don’t make you a good player.  What does help though is all the hard work you put in in the offseason.  I think you will have a great year next year.  Loggers suck, but you are okay. Brandon: I think you will have a great year next year, and will do it wearing an even worse haircut and maybe a mustache. Alex: I am envious of your flow.  You are a brick wall behind the dish though, and I think there will be more pickenz for you to make next year.  The flirtation between you and Brandon has taught me a lot about what it means to be more than friends. Pass: Tell your wizard to remove the spell from me.  You are a great pitcher and I think that your ability to block out, or maybe not even notice, your surroundings is like Bobby Fisher playing chess — strange. Clay: Your big burly appearance does not fool me, you have a big heart and can always cheer me up.  I hope to God that your arm gets better and that you pitch like I saw at STA.  Try to keep the frat house out of the news.  Kruse: Keep working hard. Take it easy on the Black & Mild’s though big man.  I hope I get to watch you dive around in the OF next year. 

Kyle: I enjoyed shaking the ladder you stood on while you painted.  The fear I saw in your eyes was ironically very similar to a sheep who is being confronted by a wolf.  Keep turning two quicker than anyone in the league. Zing: While you may appear similar to Eyore, you are a great hitter and a valuable crossword-puzzle partner.  Fersh: While your girlfriend may have had a better attendance at morning workouts than you, I still think your stuff is nasty.  Smokewagon: Fire it up’! Dahlstrohm: You are wise beyond your years, and I believe you may have a fantastic mid-life crisis.  Swenny Pump, Joey O Pump, Krause pump: I placed an order on our Gold’s Gym tanktops, so we can continue coming … to the weight-room.  You guys are great and I enjoyed toning our muscles.  I hope the best for all of you.  Your hard work will pay off. Rudy: I now appreciate track a lot more than before.  Keep swinging that good stick, I think you will do great things in this league. To all of the young guys, I hope that you all mature a bit.  No, I’m merely kidding.  I think you guys are a great group with the potential to take this program back to the top of the MIAC.  Good Luck in the years to come.

To the coaches:
 
Coach Benji: My first impression of you was you saying MMMkk and flipping sides a lot in my accounting class.  I was initially a little afraid of you, but during my sophomore slump, you took the time to tell me that I needed to relax and support my team even if I wasn’t on the field.  I will never forget that.  You have a great sense of humor and I think your hard work ethic always helps us to compete.  I have enjoyed my years playing for you. 

Coach Nick: I wasn’t sure whether I should put you amongst my friends or coaches, because you honestly are both.  You are goofy, and I think you should coach in a tanktop.  No matter what anyone says, it is flattering on you.  Thank you for all the time you spent helping me with my swing, and thank you more for always being there for me.  I think you are a great coach; your youth and exuberance will help SMU baseball for years to come.  Thanks Coach Nick.

Coach Whaley: I said a long time ago that Coach Whaley and I have a love/hate relationship, so I feel I will talk a little bit about both aspects.  I will start with the bad news.  What I dislike (I won’t say I hate anything): Coach, I am short, I went to STA, and I have a girlfriend.  This material should not have been the only things I was teased about for four years.  You somehow managed to recycle that material in different ways over and over.  You did have moments of brilliance though, and I think you learned a little of that from me. What I love: You gave me a chance to play college baseball.  Your kindness, loyalty, and demand that I hold myself accountable will be lessons I will never forget.  You have taught me about the game of baseball, but even more about how to live my life responsibly.  I am a better person for having played baseball for you.  You are a great guy and I feel comfortable saying that I could not have asked for a better head coach.

Donny: You are a great writer who can roast me better than most.  I enjoy your writing and appreciate all the hard work you do for us.  Keep up the one-liner openings that say something like “Dynamic Duo helps Cardinals Spread Their “Sweep” Wings.” These lines remind me of HOOTERS.  Delightfully tacky.  You are great, Donny, and it has been a blast having you at the park with us. 

Well, that’s about all I have to say.  Thanks for all the loyal readers who made it this far.  I am going to miss the days of taking bp, hanging out in the locker room, and just playing ball with all of you.  I would like to end with a simple passage from my favorite poem. Thanks again for the memories everyone. 

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
    I took the one less traveled by
    And that has made all the difference
    — Robert Frost